MENTAL HEALTH 101
Grief
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide:
Talk Suicide: 1-833-456-4566 or https://talksuicide.ca
Call 9-1-1 or go to your local emergency department
What is Grief?
Grief is what we feel when we have lost something. Another word for this is bereavement. A lot of people associate grief with the death of someone who is important to them in some way (person or a pet). Grief can be felt after any important loss however, like the loss of a job or relationship. It is also common to experience grief after a diagnosis of an illness.
There are many different symptoms of grief including anger and depression. Everybody grieves in a different way and there are no "rules".
What Can I Do About it?
Most people deal with grief with the help of family and friends. Some people use the help of counsellors or support groups to help them through the grieving process. In most cases people are able, in time, to return to their daily life and activities. Sometimes grief can be complicated, especially when the loss is sudden or unexpected, or when associated with a disaster or the result of a crime.
Tips to help with your grief journey:
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Reach out to caring and supportive people such as your loved ones, neighbours or work friends. There are also grief support groups you can join, either in person or online.
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If you feel you need a little extra support, reach out to a counsellor or your family doctor.
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Give yourself time. Everyone deals with grief differently and there is no normal amount of time to process a loss.
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Feel your feelings – anger, sadness, frustration, fear... these are all normal. Find ways to express your feelings, whether it be through art, music, writing in a journal or talking it out with a friend.
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Work through difficult feelings like bitterness and blame. These feelings can make it harder to move forward from your loss.
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Be prepared for milestones. You may feel that you have processed your grief but it can resurface as you reach anniversaries or holidays as you face them without your loved one. You might need more support during these times.
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Take care of your physical health. Get adequate rest. Drink plenty of fluids. Eat healthy. Get exercise. See your doctor if you have health concerns.
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Don't make any big decisions for awhile. You are at a transition point and your feelings may change with time.
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Start something new. Take up a new hobby or do something special in honour of your lost loved one.
How Can I Help Someone Who is Grieving?
It's hard to know what to do or say when someone is grieving. Just being there for someone is one of the best things you can do. It isn't usually helpful to say things like: "everything happens for a reason" or "they are in a better place", in fact a lot of grieving people find statements like this to be hurtful. Instead acknowledge their feelings and let them know you are there for them.
Tips for helping someone who is grieving:
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Understand that their are no "rules" to grieving and everyone needs to process things in their own way
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Check in on your loved one and ask what they need. They may not want to reach out and might feel like a burden, let them know you are there for them. Include them in activities.
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Talk about the loss (if they want to). A lot of people try to avoid talking about it altogether because they don't want to be hurtful, but sharing stories and thoughts can be an important part of healing.
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Help your grieving loved one find more support if they need it. Counselling, support groups and self-help books can all be useful ways to cope with grief.
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If you are concerned about your loved one, encourage them to see a doctor.